~ Vapor ~
Vapor was a series of nightmares that literally happened 5 straight nights in a row, in the early 2000’s. Each night started where the previous night left off. I woke up each night drenched in sweat and gasping for breathe. The only thing I could do was write them down to get them out of my head…
The writing is intended to cause a rush as you read it, hence the incorrect punctuation, yes its intentional. I wanted to try to recreate the intense rushing sensation that these nightmares caused.
~ Prologue ~
Listen to the audio tracks as you read this… the timings to some of these are intentionally a click off to invoke an eerie sensation of sound, that almost begins to make sense…
(created in GrageBand on an iPad Pro, more original tracks at 3hrsIn: or SoundCloud)
something stirring in the corner of your eye, some type of smooth movement yet nothing that can by literally pinned down… the dense smell of mildew, dampness in the air, yet when it moves, heat… the erie feeling of death or is it light… that sudden feeling that you’re not alone, that someone or something is watching, waiting for you to bring in the harvest, to feed it’s appetite…
~ va• por ~
haze, mist, steam, condensation, moisture;
fumes, exhalation, fog, smog, smoke…
a sudden feeling of faintness or nervousness
or a state of depression or hysteria…
a substance diffused or suspended in the air,
esp. one normally liquid or solid…
~ the school ~
the low light of the night, the dense movement of the clouds…the erie feeling that i’ve been here before… a building so familiar, yet aged by lack of life has yet been filled again with all that attended during my reign… the walls are drenched with rain and mildew, an off white/yellow and green/black stains drape the hallways… windows covered with aging lifelessness, all the remanence of a run down building yet all are here and functioning as if nothing has changed… then it starts…
the erie sounds of something on the other side of the building… not quite human yet nothing that can be married to idea… the gurgling sounds, ripping of skin… the heat… something unwilling to be satisfied is tearing something apart, from the inside out… running in the direction of the ungodly noise, a feeling over whelms me to the point where i can not even tell if i’m breathing… my head begins to hum, as if my ears have been covered over and the only sound i feel is my heart beat, the feeling of blacking out consumes my desire for this entity… turning the corner…
the stench of blood is exhausting, the devastation so vast that anything i could imagine could never prepare me for what i was about to see…
climbing the stairs, the trickles of blood begin to form around my feet… and then the pieces… pieces of what may or may not have been human… looking up, two flights of stairs are the remains of a body, the only element showing that was the blood mark on the ceiling where it must have been thrown into… small pieces dripping off the ceiling, a pair of glasses at my feet and the warm feeling of heat, as if the victims body heat was still in the stairwell… and the movement across the ceiling chills my very spin, as it moved towards the hallway…
moving towards the top level, the building becomes connected, as if i can feel where everyone is and that same hot feeling begins to run through my vains… feeling that something unearthly is inside this building and does not want us here… i can sense a teacher gathering students three floors down, one still left on the third floor… others frozen in the sheer sense that death has entered the building and no one is safe… and the sounds begin again…
the flesh or bone and muscle being turn from the body cavity… the gurgling sounds of internal organs being ripped from the spine… entering the room only to see the instructors skull, skinless and dripping… the remains scattered through out the room, across the desks, up along the walls… across the ceiling… and the warm feeling of heat again… from the corner of my eye, i saw it… flickering movement out the back door and up the last flight of stairs to the cathedral roof top… and suddenly its clear, i can feel it moving about, watching me from the outside of the building, swaying back and forth, like a captured siberian tiger that has gone insane from its capture… waiting for me to move, a single thought rolled threw me head… the rest of the faculty is down stairs, on the first floor… before i can even grasp what had happened, it moved straight down the side of the building…
moving with all the stealth that can be allowed, knowing fare well where it was headed… my ears begin to bleed with the sound of wreck-less abandonment for life… so dark, so unruly… shrieks echoing thru the stair well… un humane sounds of gratitude, swell the building, as if it to as begun to take a form of its own, it begins to howl… gripping my very bones, quivering the very blood that flows through my body..as the mutilation continues to grow…
turn flesh, the ripping of tendons… the last remnants of sounds of life being rendered powerless, by something beyond our control yet it is connected to me… as if i’m leading this entity to its growth for devastation…
reaching the first floor, blacking out from the intense sense of connection…
~ the city ~
a night in philly with college friends… looking to shake off the long road we all have taken to achieve goals far beyond our control… going from bar to bar, sharing a joint between route to keep us on our merry way… a dark feeling begins to brew within my senses… images of places we just left, of the ignorant ones who felt they were better then us… and one by one it starts…
in dark alleys, the wrath of judge and jury… slaughtering for the sheer sake of enjoyment, only this time its tempered… more controlled… the mutilation is rendered leaving the victims aware of whats happening to the very last moment of final despair…
flashes after each bar are coming on strong… the ungodly noises and stench of a body being shredded internally… in every vision the literal feeling of remaining heat from a splattered encounter… its gaining ground… and the memories of a strange connection are regained as i push away from the pack… telling them its not safe, to go on without me… brushing it off because of my induced state they ignore me with wreck-less abandonment… knowing its on my wreck-less heels, starting with the last person in our group… pulling them into the passing alleys, the gurgling of intestines being ripped through the throat, bone being sprayed apart from an entity that seems relentless to even part with a single cell… i go into a door of a vacant room… something familiar, that same damp mildew smell… a single bulb hanging naked in the center of the room..as the sounds of vicious attacks are bouncing around the outside of the room, as if to taunt me..in an instant it stops…
that erie feeling begins to swell in the pit of my stomach that its not outside the room anymore, but inside, with me, waiting… heat waves off the mildew walls are caught at every head turn, from the sides of my sight… my head begins to hum, every breathe begins to become labored… my pulse ringing threw my ears… the movement, the movement… and the door is gone, its only it and me…
~ the warehouse ~
dark, run down brick moldy buildings, two story, with offices on the top level… trying to escape the building has become taxing… running towards what appears to be an exit, the building walls begin to draw inwards, as if the building itself is going to keep me here… a dither of movement snaps my head around and once more the feeling returns… traveling through my blood over whelming me with what i know is about to begin…
this time there’s no wasting… the warehouse begins to rattle and before i can react the windows become splattered with what appeared to be the bodies occupying the office above… walking thru the doors a can hear the next encounter occur… this time less gurgling, more of a stirring of wind… it seems to be changing its habits, bored maybe or just simply showing off…
making my way to the first office floor, the smell of marrow, blood and heat riddles it ways to my very core… the movement travels upward, to the second floor… taking on its second solo act of devastation… this one seeming to be more patient, as if it wants me to see more of it tactics… breaking the horizon, there he is on his knees, arms out stretched, head shoots back… a slow heat wave billows around the feet… as blood begins to spew from every possible location from his head… what was thought to be a scream at first has turned into a distinctive sound of crackling of ribs… organs and intestines ripped threw the mans mouth and literally splatter in mid air… head snapping completely around and as quickly as a blink of an eye, he shatters in every direction…
and it moves again, proceeding down the hallway, once more it starts, this time with the whirling sounds of wind as if a tornado has actually begun inside of the building… the sounds of flesh being twisted so severely, that limbs are breaking off from the body cavity…hitting the walls with such force that the bone itself disintegrates into tiny fragments and converge with blood and tissue, until its unrecognizable… the savage wind striking with such force, working so strictly on annihilation, the body simply breaking apart into a twister like motion, being sprayed across the room until there’s nothing left… leaving me standing in the middle of the room covered in the remains of its victims… and breathes across my shoulder the heat, the warm feeling of some psychotic connection of this unruly entity…
~ the room ~
all the walls are closed… a damp faint light project from above and begins to sway, something has pushed it, yet the human essence is only one… a wave of heat passes your neck and then it starts… the warmest sensation of heat from the deepest realm of your body… fear over comes you, pain runs through your veins until shock has overwhelmed you and it begins… as if a force beyond anything ever known has begun to drain you of all your wholeness, each cell is beginning to get stretched and separated until the unity that you once had is a faint memory that is now beginning to be blurred, vision becomes faint, blurred and finally the thrusting impact of implosion has taken its toll… as another watches soon to be awoken… they experience your outer shelf screaming in horror as you literally fade away before their very closed eyes.
(Dream 6.13-16.2001)
